We all make judgements. We observe what happens around us, we notice what people do. We experience how they treat us, and we make sense of it. That’s normal.
In fact, we couldn’t get through life without making observations and drawing conclusions. But there is an important difference between an observation and a judgement, and understanding that difference can be surprisingly helpful — particularly when we’re thinking about inner healing and Sozo.
Observation or judgement?
Suppose someone repeatedly arrives late. The observation might simply be: “They’ve arrived late again.” That’s something we can see. But we might then conclude: “They don’t care about other people’s time.” That’s a judgement.
Perhaps someone doesn’t return our phone call. The observation is: “They haven’t called me back.” The judgement might be: “They don’t care about me ”or “They’re deliberately ignoring me.” The observation may be completely accurate; the conclusion may or may not be.
That’s where things become interesting. Why do we make judgements? Because we’re human. We want to understand what’s happening; we want to make sense of people. We want to predict what is going to happen next, and sometimes making a quick judgement helps us feel safe.
If someone has hurt us before, we may become particularly alert to anything that looks like a repetition of what happened. We see something familiar, we recognise a pattern, and we reach a conclusion. Sometimes that conclusion is right. Sometimes it isn’t.
But either way, once we’ve reached it, we can begin to live as though it is unquestionably true.
Our history affects what we see
This is where judgement connects with everything we’ve been exploring about inner healing.
We don’t observe the world from a completely neutral position. We bring our history with us. If I’ve been rejected repeatedly, I may be particularly sensitive to signs of rejection. If I’ve been betrayed, I may look for reasons not to trust. If I’ve been criticised, I may hear criticism where none was intended. If I’ve been controlled, I may react strongly whenever somebody tries to influence me.
The thing I’m seeing may be real, but the meaning I’m attaching to it may be influenced by what has happened to me before.
Judgements about ourselves
Not all judgements are about other people. Some of the most powerful judgements we make are about ourselves. Perhaps we failed, or perhaps someone told us we were useless. It may be that we made a terrible mistake. Perhaps somebody rejected us, and we concluded: “I’m a failure.” “I’m stupid.” “I’m unlovable.” “I’ll never amount to anything.”
Those conclusions can become part of our identity, and once they do, we may unconsciously look for evidence to support them. This is one reason judgement connects so closely with Lies We Believe and Inner Vows.
An experience can lead to a judgement. The judgement can become a belief. The belief can then influence the way we see everything else.
Judgements about other people
We can do exactly the same thing with other people. Someone lets us down and we conclude: “They’re selfish.” Someone disagrees with us, and our thought is “They’re difficult.” Someone behaves in a way we don’t understand and we think, “They’re deliberately trying to hurt me.”
Perhaps they are. But perhaps they aren’t. The problem isn’t that we’re noticing behaviour, the problem comes when our interpretation becomes fixed. We stop seeing the person. We see our judgement of the person.
And that can have profound consequences for our relationships.
Judgements about God
Perhaps the most important judgements we can make are about God. Something terrible happens, so we pray and nothing seems to change, and we conclude: “God doesn’t care” or “God isn’t listening” or “God helps other people, but not me” or “God must be disappointed with me.” Again, the experience is real, the pain is real, but the conclusion may not be true, and if we continue to live from that conclusion, it can affect our entire relationship with Him.
This is one of the reasons we believe it is so important to learn to hear God for ourselves. Rather than simply accepting the conclusions we’ve reached, we can ask: “Father God, what do You say?”
“But isn’t God our judge?”
Yes. The Bible speaks very clearly about God as judge. But that doesn’t mean that we are forbidden from making ordinary observations or exercising discernment. Nor does it mean that we should become incapable of recognising behaviour that is genuinely wrong. There is a difference between: “What happened wasn’t right” and: “That person is irredeemably bad.”
There is a difference between recognising that someone has behaved badly and deciding that we know everything about their heart. There is a difference between wisdom and condemnation, and there is a difference between discernment and judgement.
What if my judgement was justified?
This is important. Sometimes our judgement is understandable; sometimes someone did behave badly and really hurt us. Sometimes our assessment of a situation is accurate, so this isn’t about pretending that everything is fine. It isn’t about calling evil good, and it isn’t about ignoring warning signs in order to appear spiritual.
The question is different:
“Having recognised what happened, what am I going to carry because of it?”
I can recognise that someone behaved wrongly without allowing what they did to control the rest of my life. I can establish appropriate boundaries. I can protect myself, and I can seek justice where necessary.
And I can still ask God whether He wants me to carry the judgement I’ve made about that person.
Judgement can become a burden
Sometimes a judgement begins as protection. Someone hurts us, and we decide what they’re like. We can easily decide what people are like, and we can decide what relationships are like. And we live accordingly.
That can feel safe. But if we carry those conclusions indefinitely, they can become a burden. We may become suspicious, critical, cynical, defensive, unable to trust, unable to forgive and unable to see the possibility that somebody might be different from the person who hurt us.
The judgement that once helped us make sense of the world can eventually become something that limits us.
What does forgiveness have to do with it?
Quite a lot. Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying: “It didn’t matter.” It doesn’t mean: “What happened was acceptable.” It doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation. And it doesn’t mean abandoning sensible boundaries. Forgiveness is about what we continue to carry. Sometimes we need to bring our judgement before God and say: “This is what I believe about this person because of what happened” and then ask: “God, what do You want me to do with this?”
That can lead us into forgiveness. It can also lead us into something else: freedom.
We’ll explore forgiveness more fully in the next page. (LINK)
Judgement in Sozo
This is one of the reasons judgements are significant in Bethel Sozo. The purpose of a Sozo isn’t to persuade us that we’ve been wrong about everything. It’s to help us discover what is going on inside us and bring it into conversation with God.
We might have made a judgement about ourselves, or perhaps about somebody else, or even about God.
We can ask: “Father God, what do You think?” “Jesus, what do You want me to know?” “Holy Spirit, what is true?” The Sozo facilitator isn’t there to tell us what God thinks, they’re there to help us ask the questions.
We listen for ourselves. That is why we describe Sozo as a ministry of communication.
From judgement to truth
Sometimes God doesn’t tell us that our observation was wrong. He simply shows us that our conclusion was incomplete. Perhaps we thought: “They don’t care about me” and instead God shows us: “That’s not what was happening.”
Perhaps we thought: “I’m a failure” and God says: “That’s not how I see you.”
Perhaps we thought: “I’ll never trust anyone again” and God says: “You don’t have to live like that.”
Sometimes the truth isn’t that what happened wasn’t painful; the truth is that what happened doesn’t have to determine what happens next.
We don’t have to carry everything we see
There is freedom in learning to distinguish between: what happened, what we thought it meant, and what God says is true. That’s part of becoming wholehearted. We become increasingly able to recognise what is going on inside us without allowing every reaction, assumption or conclusion to define us.
We can notice. We can ask questions. We can listen. And we can allow God to show us what is true.
What if I’m the one being judged?
This matters too. Sometimes the judgement we’re carrying isn’t one we’ve made. It’s one someone else has made about us.
Perhaps you’ve been told that you’re: selfish, stupid, unlovable or a failure. Maybe that you’re too sensitive or not good enough. Other people’s judgements can become our beliefs, but somebody else’s opinion isn’t necessarily God’s truth.
You don’t have to spend your life proving that another person’s judgement of you was wrong. You can ask a much more important question: “God, what do You say about me?”
Freedom from judgement
The aim isn’t to become a person who never make judgements. That isn’t realistic. We need observation, wisdom and discernment. We need to recognise what is safe and what isn’t. The aim is to become someone who doesn’t have to be ruled by the judgements we’ve made.
We can recognise what happened. We can acknowledge what it did to us. We can take appropriate action, and then we can bring our conclusions to God. “What do You want me to know?” “What do You want me to do?” “What do You want me to carry?” And perhaps, sometimes: “What do You want me to put down?”
You don’t have to work this out alone
If you find yourself repeatedly reacting to the same people or situations, it may be worth asking what’s underneath the reaction. What am I believing? What judgement have I made? Where did it come from? Is it still serving me? And, most importantly: What does God say?
You don’t need to have the answers before you come for a Sozo.
Sometimes discovering the question is the beginning of discovering the answer.
Explore further
Understanding Inner Healing Why what has happened to us matters — and why freedom is possible.
Lies We Believe and Inner Vows Explore how experiences can lead us to conclusions and decisions that continue to shape our lives.
Shame Discover how shame can make us hide — and how God can bring us into freedom.
Understanding Trauma Explore how painful experiences can continue to affect us long after the event itself has passed.
Forgiveness Discover what forgiveness means — and why it can be so important to freedom.
Hearing God Learn more about hearing what God says for yourself.
What Is Bethel Sozo? Discover the ministry of prayer and listening at the heart of Wonderfully Free.
Book an Individual Sozo If something here has made you wonder about a judgement you’re carrying, you don’t have to work it all out before you contact us.